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One day, I found a piece of a red floral patterned pottery plate, tumbled by the tides over time, and every time I returned to that small beach, I found another small shard of that same pattern.
I was picking up the pieces, trying to find a way to restore the whole.
I really didn’t feel very much of anything; it seemed simply like going through the motions.
In many ways there had been an inadvertent trade: identity and career plans for motherhood, the settling for part-time freelance writing instead of the magazine editing career in New York complete with white cat and white shag area rug in a loft studio envisioned by a girl long ago.
We eventually lost the house to foreclosure when it needed another 0,000 in repairs we couldn’t afford and I learned the important things are the people inside the house, not the things inside or the building itself. The saying about “the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence, it’s greener where you water it” appears around pop culture these days and I nod my head.
We went to the same college, got married right after graduation, and went on to have four kids, the oldest now 21, the youngest 9.
It wasn’t really that I was unhappy in the initial decades of the marriage, but I wouldn’t have described myself as happy.
In the 1881 monster house, we had a second mortgage and an in-ground pool and on the surface, it appeared we had it all.
Concerned about the pace of housing development in our community and needing a challenge, I ran for office and became the chief elected official in our small Maryland town, giving birth to our fourth child while in office. In addition to the pressure of local politics and the fact that my husband traveled out of town nearly every week for work, two of our children were hospitalized at separate times with grave illnesses.My husband and I started talking on the one day a week we saw each other.